The Miracle Marriage.....Mine!

Today, Sal and I celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary. Look at those two youngsters! We had no idea what our future would hold at that time. We didn't know that we would move 9 times in 18 years. We had no idea that we would be blessed with a gorgeous daughter. We certainly had no idea that we were tough enough and strong enough to withstand some of the road-bumps that we would encounter in our time together either....

Along with all the great times, laughing and loving, there have been some truly rough and tough times. Most of them brought on by me. I was a mess. I was 'married' to a job that almost worked me to death at times, that caused me to come home in tears on quite a few occasions, that kept me out til all hours of the night and morning hanging out in places I had no business being in. But I loved it. Being in radio is a pretty intoxicating (no pun intended) career. Back before the business came under hard financial times, you got to fly places, stay in fancy hotels, hang with celebrities and alllllll that comes with that lifestyle. And I drank it up! (Pun fully intended). There was excessive socializing, carousing, drinking and partying and again.....I loved every minute of it. All the while, my husband kept the home-fires burning because he knew it was 'part of the job'. It was becoming more than just 'part of the job' though. It was all becoming a problem and thanks to some truly divine intervention about six and a half years ago that took us to California, I finally got my life straightened out.

A little over four years ago, Sal & I walked into a church together in a small suburb of San Diego called Rancho Bernardo. Both of us began an amazing transformation almost instantly and both of us accepted Christ into our lives only weeks later. I gave up the firewater, I lost 140 lbs, changed my behavior, got my priorities in order and started living a clean life--inside and out. Sal & I were both baptized at sunset in the Pacific Ocean at La Jolla Shores back in August of 2007. God gave us a clean slate and a new life and with our baptism together, as husband and wife, we gave each other a clean slate. It has taken our marriage to a whole new level of awesome-ness.

So, Happy Anniversary, baby. I thank God for you and I thank you for stickin' with me. I'm a lucky, lucky, lucky lady.

Us this past December 2009

One Month Later......

So it's been just over a month since my last post and almost 6 weeks since I was laid off from my job. I felt the need to cocoon for a little while. To run and hide. To get angry. To stamp my feet and have a tantrum or two. To cry a few tears. And then, the final phase--to lick my wounds and move on. That is easier said than done. I haven't not worked in 28 years, so re-adjusting to a schedule that is not revolving around my going off to work in the morning is weird and it's been hard for me not to go somewhere and do something.

I was hoping my baking would go full-time, but without my full-time job to fund the baking, that was not to be either. I had to officially close my bakery to outside clients, who were not thrilled. I guess that is suppose to make me happy! But it just makes my heart ache. I still bake for my friends and for the church whenever they need it, but it's just not enough to fulfill this need I have to bake and create in the kitchen alllll day.

But what all this has allowed me to do is sit with my daughter the whole entire time she's eating breakfast in the morning instead of getting up in the middle of it to go off to work. I drive her school now and we sing or chat or just listen to the local morning show do their antics. It's the hours after that when I am home kickin' around the house the rest of the day with nothing to do that gets me. So....I've been doing some volunteer work at my church and some volunteer work at our new N.C. Museum of Art is starting up next week. And I have been applying to many, many radio stations. There has been some courting by a couple of stations, but even that process has slowwwwwwed waaaaay dowwwwwwnnnnnn since the last time I applied for a job. We'll see where all that leads......

God sure has base-lined my life. My full-time job is gone and my part-time job is gone. I have this visual in my head where I'm standing at a starting line. There is lots behind me that I can see but in front of me? Nothing....at least nothing that I can see. It's just.....white. I know there is stuff out there and I have extreme faith that God is in charge of it all, so I know whatever I cannot see right now, it's gonna be awesome. But waiting for the starting gun, is not one of my better qualities. I keep wanting to jump the gun and I keep getting yanked back to that starting line. I just know God is up there saying "All in good time, woman!". Any day now......any day, God.

Giving Thanks.....

Thanksgiving
Pilgrims
move among us.
Silent, their gray lips mouth
prayers for the bountiful fields of
autumn. Feathered
Indians stand
tall in quiet corners
invoking harvest home in a
strange tongue. This is
our Thanksgiving.
Gathered together, we
are visited by the grace of
old guests.
~Myra Cohn Livingston~


Give thanks to God, whose mighty hand
Deals blessings good and great.
~Charles Frederick White~

Lessons Learned....

It was a gorgeous fall weekend, with the temperatures yesterday getting a little unseasonably warm. On Friday, I got the last of my daffodil bulbs planted. I have 600 now in the ground. I'm curious as to how many of those will actually come up next Spring. I will be sure to post a pic of the first little yellow faces that pop up! Also on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, three rare days in a row, I had my sportscar out on the road. Since the Fall temperatures are a little chilly to troll around convertible-like, I put the rag top on and went cruisin'. Hitting these tight, twisty country roads with all the fall colors a-blazin' is just that much more gorgeous (and fun!) when I can do it in my little roadster.

So at church Saturday night, our pastor continued his series on the 10 Commandments. We're up to #6 "Thou Shall Not Kill". Well, I know I've never taken a life and I'm going to assume that no one in our congregation has either.....well....I'm not quite sure about that guy who sits a couple rows behind us.....lol....just kidding. Instead of the sermon that would apply to no one, he twisted it to make it apply to us ALL. It was all about murdering people with our words. Character assassination. Talking unkindly about others. Well, HELLO!? Who is not guilty of that? Over the past couple of years, I've gotten a lot better at 'taming the tongue', as the bible says. I'm very, very careful about what I say to and about people. Before I speak, the thought rolls through my mind--"are you tearing down or building up?". If I stumble, I am quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness.
B-U-T....there is one person in my life who is my downfall. All I have to do is hear his name and I usually blurt out *jerk* or some other horribly, colorful descriptive word or phrase. I get off a phone call with him and I just grit my teeth and do my best Yosemite Sam imitation: razzin'-frackin'-rickin'-rackin'. This man exhibits some very unpleasant personality traits. He's mean and condescending, judgmental.....oh the list goes one and on and he brings out the worst in me!

Well, God certainly was talkin' to me through that sermon, because this guys face and name was rolling through my head and heart the whole time. I know that I cannot change him and the way he is, but what I can change is the way I react to him. You see, people who are hurting, hurt others. If there was ever someone who deserves compassion, it is he. If there ever was someone who could use a prayer to soften his heart, it is he. If there was ever someone who could use a soft, kind thought thought about them, it is he. Ok, God. Message received, loud and clear. Since Saturday night, when he has come to mind, I have surrounded his face and name with pleasant thoughts and words. So far, so good.

"Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it."

~Psalm 34: 13-14

Pumpkin' carving....

My daughter sent her first email 'forward' to me the other day. I thought this was adorable and even more so because it came from my favorite little pumpkin....

A woman was asked by a co-worker, "What is it like to be a Christian?" The co-worker replied, "It's like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in and washes all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate and greed. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see!"

Let your light shine!

Quiet......

We have houses being built all around us right now and will for the next year probably. During the week it is a constant buzz, thump, drill, hammer, slam, beep, ker-chunk of construction noises....all day long. This is x3 right now as houses are being built on both sides of us and right across the street. By the end of the day and the end of the week I am craving quiet sooooo badly. This evening before dinner, I went outside and sat at the table on the screened porch waiting for the family to join. It took me 2 seconds to recognize the something I had been missing....hearing nothing. No construction noises, no neighbors chatting, no dogs barking, no cars driving by. I should say there was one sound. Crickets. As the sun starts to go down in our backyard, the chorus of crickets begins and the darker it gets, the louder they get. There must be a dozen different ones out there because of the variety of 'chirps' going on. I sat there tonight in absolute silence, closed my eyes and just listened. God wrote the most beautiful symphony with the making of His creatures. It's too bad we don't get the chance to hear these wonderful songs as much because of all the noise we surround ourselves from day to day. It's a pity too, that we don't carve out the time to go somewhere purposefully devoid of man's noise to enjoy, in my humble opinion, the perfect sounds of silence.

Dusk from my backyard...better known as
cricket time!