"Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears." ~Barbara Johnson
This is a great quote that I stumbled upon while trolling the internet today. Patience is one of my worst, worst, worst (did I say worst?) qualities. I don't 'wait' well. And by not being patient and waiting for the right thing to happen, I mash the gas pedal and usually find myself in the weeds. I think I've made some improvements in the past year or two, but I still need A LOT of work in this area. I do believe God is working specifically on it with me right now.....and, once again, I'm failing. = (
The contract for my full-time job comes up in 2 1/2 months and I have no idea if I will be re-signed. Normally there would be no question and no worry. It's the perfect gig--with great co-workers, great bosses and a great company--and the love is mutual and has been the past 6 years. We are a great fit.
Then, the economy bottomed out. Layoffs in my industry have been rampant and brutal over the past year and in the past couple of months have hit my city hard. Yesterday, the first firing was done in my building. With budget cut firings they are random and sometimes in big chunks. No matter your expertise or qualifications or pay. They just happen.
Now, I KNOW...that what happens, happens. And I KNOW...that God will provide no matter what does happens. And I KNOW...that I can find a job somewhere else--maybe. And I KNOW....that my worrying about all this stuff is not going to change what does happen. But, if I KNOW all these things, why do I still have these moments when I feel like I'm going to completely blow up my transmission? I start in 1st gear "pft...they won't fire me" move into 2nd: "but what if they do?", then 3rd: "ok--if they do, I get to do something new!" and we rev up to 4th: "but you love this gig" and I'm truly flying by the time I get into 5th: "I don't wanna be fired!". Then calm settles in for a little bit and we can get the gear shift back in to 1st for a little while.
I've prayed, I've read, I've talked to friends, I've Facebooked in hopes of finding that little snippet, or quote, or passage that will calm my nerves. And they do! For about 5 minutes, then the mental car is flyin' down the racing strip again! This is where my faith is weakest and that frustrates me too 'cause I should be better at this. The first two 'knowing' statements I made above are all I need to keep repeating to myself-- I KNOW that what happens, happens and God will provide no matter what. This has to be my new mantra. It will have to be the sentence I repeat to myself over and over, otherwise I'm going to go crazy over these next couple of months. Here's to keepin' it between the lines.....and in a low gear.
(that gorgeous car up there is the Ford GT. Yum!)
If it happens, it might be the best thing that ever happened to you. When I got laid off last February, it sucked. How could a company that I worked at for 11 years just let me go, but that is the world we live in now. I got to spend 4 wonderful months with my baby girl, and found a wonderful new job. Better than my other job could have ever been. You are very talented and I have no doubt that whatever happens to your employment situation, you will come out ahead.
ReplyDeleteOK... I am sharing one of my little devotions with you from the other night. I needed it greatly and it popped in my mind as I read your thoughts today. This is as if Jesus is talking to YOU right now:
ReplyDeleteI want you to learn a new habit. Try saying, "I trust you, Jesus" in response to whatever happens to you. If there is time, think about who I AM in all My Power and Glory; ponder also the depth and breadth of My Love for you.
This simple practice will help you see Me in every situation, acknowledging My sovereign control over the universe. When you view events from this perspective - through the Light of My universal Presence - fear loses its grip on you. Adverse circumstances become growth opportunities when you affirm your trust in Me no matter what. You receive blessings gratefully, realizing they flow directly from My hand of grace. Your continual assertion of trusting Me will strengthen our relationship and keep you close to Me.
Verses for this: Psalm 63:2, Isaiah 40:10-11; Psalm 139:7-10
I have been in your shoes before and right now for different reasons. I have felt as if I should have enough "FAITH" and failed MISERABLY. But through all of this the Lord taught me wonderful lessons I would not have learned. Lessons of letting it go and giving it all to the Lord. I am still learning those things today. These are the moments the Lord shows us and reminds us just how much we NEED Him every minute, hour, day.
Hope this gives you some comfort. Love ya!!!