Losing a Dad and a child....

Watching Michael Jacksons’ daughter, Paris, yesterday at his memorial service just broke my heart. She is 11, the same age as my Cassie. No child should lose their parent before their time. Not that being an adult and losing a parent is easy, but how difficult must it be for a child. There will be so many things she will go through without her Dad…..graduations, her wedding day, the birth of her children and his grandkids…..oh, it just breaks my heart.

And then, as a Mom, I look at it from Kathryn Jackson’s (Michael’s Mom) perspective too. The natural progression in this life is that parents die….not our kids before us. Then you realize that God has His own plan. That 'natural progression' thing doesn't always happen. Some years ago, the son of a family I grew up with took his own life. The next time I saw his Mom, she told me, “No parent should ever have to say goodbye to their child”. I knew she was in massive pain, but really didn’t realize what she meant until I had my baby.

I said extra prayers for the Jackson family last night. I know for the first time, Michael has finally found some peace. No flashbulbs, no autograph seekers, no fans running after him, no papparazzi.....I can't even imagine the life that poor guy lived. I do take great comfort in the fact that one day, Paris, Prince and Michael Jr. will all be reunited in Heaven with their Dad…..and what a sweet, sweet reunion that will be.

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again

Mercy Me—“Homesick”

Happy Father's Day.....

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
~Bill Cosby

This quote made me laugh, because it reminded me of the gifts I gave my Dad on Father’s Day. There were hand-drawn pictures, numerous ties and yes, I am sure, somewhere along the way, I gave him a soap-on-a-rope. But the one gift I remember the most is one I made him that he had hanging on his office wall for years.

My Dad was a Professor at NCSU…not a classroom teacher, but an out-in-the-field teacher. He was a Doctor, too. Not medical, PHd. He was a big man on campus I remember that. Anyway—he worked in the Poultry Science Department. He grew up on a chicken farm in Tennessee so I guess it only natural that that would be what he would grow up to do---but on a grand scale. When farmers, producers or growers had issues on their farms or at their plants….who did they call? My Dad. And that was state-wide, across the nation and around the world! My Dad traveled to third world countries to help them set up simple, but safe processing plants so they would have basic food. Pretty cool stuff!

When I was in elementary school I made him a chicken out of dry macaroni, dried beans and dried rice. At my ripe age of 5, I thought it was a masterpiece! (it was pretty cute). As long as I can remember, that macaroni chicken hung in his office. When the beans or a piece of macaroni would fall off, he’d bring it home so Mom could re-glue 'em back on. Over the years, it really started to look….well….a little worn out. Many years later when I started going to NC State, I would swing by his office quite often to say Hi. I remember asking him why he kept that sad looking chicken hangin’ up there—I mean after 15 years, pieces were missing, his beak had fallen off. It was pitiful looking! His answer to me though was simple “Because you made it for me”.

Not until right now have I ever wondered what happened to that macaroni chicken, but I bet Mom still has it. I’ll have to call and find out ‘cause I would love to adopt him back, make what I am sure are massive repairs and hang it here in my office.

My Dad passed away in 2001 and I miss him--especially when Father’s Day rolls around. But I love the little memories I have…… Cherish your Dad this Father’s Day…..or like I will this weekend, cherish the memories.

Happy Father’s Day!!!!

Graduation day....

My daughter graduated from 5th grade last week. I’m happy to say I did fine during the whole ceremony. I did not embarrass my daughter, which she was worried about. When she saw I had my little travel packet of tissues laid out on the kitchen table that morning, I got the 5 syllable “Mom”. You know--“Mahhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmm-muh”. It’s “OMG, pleeeeezse don’t start crying when I walk in the room ‘cause I’ll be soooooo embarrassed in front of all my friends!” all said in one elongated word.

I’ll tell you what was rolling through my head--‘When did I become the Mom of a junior-higher?’. It’s that same thought every parent goes through as they watch their kids hit milestones in their lives. ‘Where did the time go?’ you ask and you start flipping through that mental photo album: when she was born…..when she started walking….potty-training…..her very, very first day of school….. her first big spill off her scooter…… teaching her to ride her bike……watching her help dad ‘mow’ the lawn……the first little boy in class she thought was cute……and the ‘pictures’ flip on and on.

To those of you graduating this year, congratulations and have the most fantastic time. Soak it allllll in because before you know it, the real world comes a-callin'. If Mom and Dad are blubbering before, during and after--don't be embarrassed. That's an outpouring of love in tear-form.

Happy Graduation!!!

Band of Brothers....

Saturday morning, I stumbled upon the very beginning of the Band of Brothers Marathon that was running on The History Channel over the Memorial Day weekend. I quickly set my DVR to record the 10 episode series that I missed when it first ran on HBO some years ago and didn’t want to miss it this time around. I am sooooo glad I finally caught it. I spent most of Sunday and Monday watching all 10 episodes. I can't believe it took me this long to finally see it.....

Band of Brothers first ran on HBO back in 2001. The series was produced and directed by Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks. I should’ve known some big super-talented Hollywood hands were on this by how well it was done. It won a truckload of Emmy’s and deserved every single one of them. It is the true story of Easy Company of the U.S. Army’s 101st Airborne division and their European mission during WWII. What these men went through…..wow...WOW.

"We have the hope that the viewer will have an emotional and human experience that will allow them to appreciate the sacrifice that the men who fought in the Second World War gave."

~Tom Hanks on Band of Brothers

Oh, I could spend hours here going over all the moments that shocked and stunned me, the moments that made me ‘rewind’ to make sure I saw what I thought I saw, the ones that made me gasp, the ones that made me laugh out loud, the ones that made me shake my head in amazement and the many, many moments that made me cry (when they liberated the concentration camp—oh my). But I won’t. You need to see and feel it first hand. If you haven’t had the pleasure of watching Band Of Brothers…..do yourself, your mind and your heart the favor….rent it or buy it. You will not not not not be sorry. I simply cannot recommend it enough.

"Once we get into combat, the only people you can trust is yourself and the fella next to you."
~ Bill Guarnere—Band of Brothers

(thanks HBO for the photo)

Thank you's are NEVER enough....

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother, be never so vile."

~William Shakespeare~



On this Memorial Day, it is never near enough, but thank you, each and every one of you. Thank you.

Sisterhood of the Shrinking Pants--One year later!

It was exactly 1 year ago today, May 22, 2008 that I hit my weight loss goal. I had lost a total of 140lbs over a 16 month period. And today, one year later, I am thrilled to say that I have kept that weight off. YAY! Here are the 'before'
and 'after' photos....

The losing of the weight was tough, but thanks to my bucket loads of stubbornness, I plowed through and got to my goal. There was a lot of mental stuff to get through too. And even now with maintaining it, the hard work continues—hour to hour, day to day, week to week I have to really work at making the right food choices. Sometimes I make the wrong decisions and I go up a few pounds, but the difference now, is as soon as that happens, I get right back on the wagon and take them off. I recently read a Self magazine interview with Beyonce’, who I think is brutally hot, where she talked about her weight struggles. She said, “I’m not one of those people who doesn’t have to work at it. I can’t eat what I want and I can’t not go to the gym. There are no quick, easy secrets. The truth is, it’s a lot of sacrifice. It’s more mental strength than physical strength. It doesn’t matter what program you are on, you have to be healthy and make the right choices.” Exactly! It is tough work—even still.

My weight loss transformation affected more than my physical self. On that first day, January 1st, 2007, I asked God for help with my weight loss and He soooo answered my prayers then and continues to do so. I also stopped drinking—one of the best, best, best decisions I ever made. Not only is alcohol unnecessary calories and carbs, but it clouded me, my judgements and was leading me down a path of no-good. The support from my husband strengthened our
relationship even more. Looking back to the person I was then and who I am now—inside and out, it’s quite a transformation and I love the changes. I give all the glory and thanks to God for helping me right my life… in all areas.

You can read about some of my journey here—just read the entries that start with “Sisterhood Of The Shrinking Pants….” There were a couple of books that helped me along the way. Beauty For Ashes by Joyce Meyer and Joining the Thin Club by Judith Lederman. They both helped heal some areas that needed healing and taught me a lot about myself as an overweight person and now as a thin person. Here are a couple of websites that I use now for recipes, inspiration and such: Whole Living, Women's Health Magazine, BeliefNet, Joyce Meyer's Daily Devotional, AllRecipes Healthy Cooking.

If you are losing weight, for the first time or the 101st time, keep goin’. Get that stubborn streak goin’ and don’t let anything, anyone or any comment sway you from your goal. Ask for help—from God, from your bestfriend, from your spouse, from your kids, whomever will give you the strength and support to help get you there. It is tough and it’s not going to happen overnight. There will be people (and you might be shocked as to who it turns out to be!) that will try to sway you, there will always be a brownie around to try to tempt you, but YOU are stronger than that person and YOU are certainly stronger than any brownie. You can do this and you will be soooo proud of yourself as you start and continue to lose. And the more you lose the stronger your resolve will get.

18 again....

…..this was a writing I found in my internet travels today. How appropriate for all of us whether you have a child graduating or not. Thank you Joel Burke for letting me share this…….

I Wish I Was 18 Again!

It’s been one year now since I suffered and celebrated one of the best and worst days of my life. That was the day that my little girl graduated from high school. I was proud of her achievement yet wished I had spent more time pushing her on the swing or chasing her around the playground while she screamed with laughter.

The past 12 months have flown by and a lot has changed. It’s now a lot quieter around our house and my daughter has tasted the real world. That taste for her has been a bitter pill to swallow.

My daughter recently said to me, “I never knew how tough life would be and never knew how weak I would be.” All of us said made the exact same comment at some point after living in the real world for a while. In fact, all of us have also said, “I hate being a grown-up!” However, the only way we become stronger and grow our faith in God is to go through the tough times. Otherwise, we just remain weak and end up going whichever the wind blows.

No, I don’t wish I was 18! I sure don’t want to start climbing the mountain all over again. However, I do hope that all of us will capture or recapture three qualities that all of us had when we were 18.

OPTIMISTIC- when we are 18, our optimism is sky high! We are anxious and even impatient to prove to the world that we can make it! That positive attitude is so strong that we even end up annoying others around us.

OPPORTUNISTIC- when we are 18, we are opportunistic. We are willing to take any opportunity no matter how little to prove that we have what it takes. In fact, we would do it for free!

INVINCIBLE- when we are 18, we are invincible. Nothing or nobody is going to get in the way! In fact, nothing is impossible. We are ready to conquer any mountain no matter how high!

Have you lost one or all of these qualities? If you have, pick each one up off the ground like a rock and hold on to it! Don’t let anyone or anything take it away again!
How would you want to shape or define your life from this point forward? Will it be “As Good As I Once Was,” or “The Best Is Yet To Come?” It’s your choice! It’s just a matter of how bad do want it! So, how bad do you?

I loved, loved, loved this writing! Let's all be like we're 18 again....only smarter and wiser!!!

For those of you graduating....congratulations!!!! Welcome to the next, exciting chapter of your life! If you're a parent of a graduate---here's some extra tissues.....and actually....welcome to the next, exciting chapter of your life too! = )